6 Things Bloggers Tell You About Starting A Blog…

By Riley.

And 6 ways we completely ignore them.


OK , so it’s the New Year – which is like heroin for bloggers and writers. We’ve given ourselves some time off over Christmas, we’ve collected our thoughts, we’ve bought a new notebook, and 2017 is going to be the best year yet. There are collabs to be planned, brand partnerships to nurture, a big fat FUCK YOU letter to be typed to your employer because you’re done with “the man”.

Or maybe, like us, you’re starting out *folds up fuck you letter* and there are no collabs on the horizon *returns new notebook*. Welcome to the gang. It’s an uneasy swamp of feeling inadequate, second guessing your work from the moment you publish, and liking your own tweets.

Like many before us, we’ve listened to what established bloggers and girl bosses have to say about building your empire… and we’ve basically done the exact opposite.

Be yourself
No can do mate – we’ve gone undercover. Working in a creative industry is amazing, but when the company claims that they own everything you write there’s a certain hesitation as you type up A Smear Test: Sending your vagina straight to voicemail.

Link your social media profiles
It’s all about being present on social media! Twitter is so important when starting up a blog! Get involved in group conversations! Listen – we like pictures, on Instagram, and not talking to people. We’ve tried Twitter, we’ve hashtagged our tits off, and we’re feelin’ pretty lonely.

Plan ahead
Look – it takes us, on average, three months to pin down a Wine & Whine date (incorporating three of our favourite things – wine, cheese, and bitching). If that shit’s not on schedule then I wouldn’t hold out much hope for our organisational skills. But we’ll get better, promise.

Be realistic
We’re hilarious. We’re amazing. You’ll relate to every word we write. We’ll get a book deal. Movie rights will follow. The sequel will bomb. But it doesn’t matter – we’ll be filthy rich off our empire by then.

Network Network Network!
Unfortunately we’re not in London, or Brighton, or even in the sticks of Manchester. In blogger terms, we’re basically stuck up a tree, in the middle of a forest, on an island, east of Papua New Guinea.

Love your content
Well we bloody do. It’s everyone else that’s late to the party.