There you were, plodding along in your blissful ignorance, moaning about being skint and bored, when all of a sudden things get pretty shit, really quick. What do you do?
In my case, I have a roof over my head, supportive family and friends, and more pink-toned nude liquid lipsticks than any girl needs. So now I not only feel shit, but feel guilty for feeling shit. Ugh. I hate me too.
If you’re also wallowing in the shallow muddy waters of your self-pity pool, GOOD. It means I’m not alone. Here’s what I think we need to do…
- Indulge ourselves for a little while. Cry. Be angry. Scream WHY ME while pounding your fists into your
annoying new neighbourpillow. Then stop. You can have two days tops. During this phase, resist all urges to post pass-agg Insta quotes. It just makes you look like a twat.
- Be honest. Tell people if you’re feeling shit and why (where possible). I bailed on a social event last week because I knew I wasn’t up to it. Instead of making a crap excuse, I told the host why and she was so understanding that it gave me a little boost of positivity when I really needed it. With true friends, it should always be enough to say ‘I’m just feeling really low’.
- Talk. I don’t usually go into much detail about how I’m feeling but because I’ve been unable to successfully hide it, I’ve had to talk about my worries. Instead of thinking I shouldn’t bother people with my problems, I’ve opened up and got some brilliant advice in return.
- Be tough on yourself. I’ve spent a lot of time forcing myself to face up to where I’ve gone wrong an what I could’ve handled better. It’s hard but necessary. You may as well develop and grow to make the shit times worth it.
- Be kind to yourself. Yup, as well as giving yourself a bit of a hard time, you need to care too. Look out for signs that the stress or upset is considerably affecting your mental or physical health. I’m pathetically over-sensitive, so struggle to eat and sleep when upset, and my occasional anxiety cranks itself up a gear. Recognise your limits and go to the doctor if you exceed them in any way.
- Be grateful (it’s ok if you want to stab me right now). Think about it. There is definitely something you’ve become suddenly, massively grateful for during The Shit Time. Personally, I’ve properly realised what a good bunch of people I have around me.
I’m sorry if you’re having a shit time. Fighting against that heavy ball of dread weighing down your stomach is the pits. But it will get better. It might just be exactly what you need.