Lou is on holiday and you know what they say…while the expert is away, the novice will play. I straight up know nothing about makeup – what I should be wearing, what my skin type is, how to pronounce Guerlain… when it comes to beauty, this bish is lost. But she’s the dumb bish who doesn’t ask for directions – instead she just aimlessly wanders, burning cash at any souvenir shop along the way.
One place I regularly get lost in is the beauty section of tkmaxx. Tonight, my best intentions took me there to return a £12.99 rug – but I can never resist a rummage through the bashed, opened, tried and tested by hundreds before me beauty rejects on offer. Which leads me to the title of tonight’s post! Two items I do not need, but fuck it – bought anyway.
Anastasia Beverly Hills Liquid Lipstick in Poet. RRP £24.99, Bish Price £7.99
I’m not a huge liquid lipstick fan (soz Kylie) as I think they’re harder to apply on thinner lips (RIP my 2016 lip fillers), but this colour seemed like the perfect transition shade from summer nude to autumnal berry without throwing my whole beauty routine into chaos. It’s darker than the box suggests, which I’m actually glad of, as lighter might have been too mauve. I can’t vouch for staying power yet as I had it on for all of 1 minute before a face mask, but it did take some elbow grease with the miscellar water to shift it. At a third of the price, you’d be a dumb fuck not to try it, right?
Milk Makeup Lip Vinyl in Chillin’. RRP £15.00 Bish Price £4.99
Since my love affair for Milk Makeup began last year with their matte bronzer, I’ve been keen to try more of their products. But where do you start? If you’re me, you start with buying a new nude lip product to go with the other 3827382812 nude lip products you hoard. Once I got the product out of the disturbing packaging (serious stool sample vibes), I was pleasantly surprised that the screw off top had a doe foot applicator inside rather than a typical lip gloss tube. The colour pay off – as promised on the small print – is thick and creamy like a lipstick, but leaves the finish of a gloss (without the stickiness). Not sure it’ll be able to handle my mid morning, pre-lunch, post-lunch, mid-afternoon, and eating cheese slices while the dinner cooks daily snacking routine but hey…at a fiver, I’m not even mad.
Normal beauty programming will resume next week! Probably. Not by me. We’re done here.